Have you ever fantasized about a perfect lover? You know he’s just an illusion in your mind, but you expect him to become real. According to the social survey shows that 73% of people have had their other half illusion. Content of phantom include: appearance, personality, career and so on. Where 32% of people believe their dreams better than his lover.

Hanqianwen Tang  110110138 tanghanqianwen@qq.com

If one day, the illusion becomes reality. What life would be like? Maybe you never imagined this day came. But if you want to know if your dreams become a reality in your lover. Your life would be like? Maybe you can take a look at the film. “Loving the book people”(“Ruby Sparks” by Jonathan Dayton). The movie is about a novelist writing a story. He found the story of the girl, he appeared in his life. He fell in love with that girl from the incredible to. The girl will change according to the text he describes himself. And bit by bit they happen in life.

film picture

When you are watching the film, you will find an answer. You will find that even though he is your ideal lover, there will still be a lot of problems between you. Now we are concerned based on questions from the audience to give answers.

Question 1: If you are between your lover and had some trouble, how should you deal with?
Rubin (1970) defined the love of a particular pair an attitude held by some others, in which the ingredients are: dependency needs, wants to help each other’s tendencies, exclusivity and exclusivity. If you calm down, think about this issue seriously. You will find out if you and your lover encounter itself is love category. If so, you should discuss ideas about your true inner together. If only a matter of habits on, you can solve this problem by adjusting themselves.

Question 2: Should you expect your lover because you change?
According to the survey, more than half of the people want their lover can make some changes. Let us try to imagine. You love a person, his hobby is smoking. Maybe you think that one day he will realize that smoking is harmful to health slowly away from cigarettes. Do you think that one day he will realize that second-hand smoke is hazardous to your health and give up cigarettes. Do you think that one day he will realize that in order to create a favorable environment to give up cigarettes parenting. Maybe all you want is always just you want. You love that you love him or you think he or is he you want to change? In some problems, we should do because you will not expect him to change. But you should let yourself understand him. Let yourself like complete him.

Question 3: Should you try to change your lover?

In the film Calvin first encountered the dream girl. You imagine her beautiful, pleasant and intelligent and charming. You love her very much. But when you found out that she also had depression when bored when wayward, noisy noisy when you want to understand not soothe her but she is not changing her. Of course, the movie Calvin Ruby can be changed via text typewriter. How about you? But when you do not have such a magical time and you are faced with such a situation is not looking forward to a few people, or try to change their loved it? Maybe you do not change him. You should strive to communicate with your lover. You should tell him what you think. You can listen to his ideas. Let him know his problem. He can try to change for himself.

In the process along with your lover, and you will encounter a lot of problems. Even fully meet the requirements of your lover. You have a different point of view. In fantasy, people tend to consider only one aspect. Often this aspect is good news. The thing is with diversity. When we get along with their loved ones, problems are normal. We should face the problem of reason, to understand each other with emotional, rational to solve problems. I hope the above described method can help you. In every day life, our future, and put the proposal into action. You cherish the opportunity and time to get along with your lover. Life will become better.

Key Sources:Book: “General Psychology”, “love psychology,” “Gender Studies” ;Survey: friends around the feelings of handling and outcome .TV: “how I met your mother” Film: “Ruby Sparks”